Ah yes, very well then.

Ah, yes… Parker. The name strikes fear into the hearts of the feeble, doesn't it? Crazy Parker, of course, is the real masterpiece. You see, my mustache? Oh, it’s not just for flair. It’s a symbol. A symbol of pure, unbridled chaos. Mwahaha. Every time I twirl it, I can feel the incompetence oozing out of me, a sweet, delicious incompetence that I wield like a weapon. Do you think I’m here to fix things? Ha!. No, no, my dear underlings. My true task is to destroy all that I can. Miners, medics, technicians? Oh, they’re all perfect targets. What better way to cause misery than to remove the people who are supposed to help? And oh, the sabotage... the sabotage! I pretend to fumble through tasks like a bumbling fool, nodding along as Eos and the Red Faction shout their orders at me, all while secretly laughing inside. "Oh, you need Gryphon alive? Oops, faulty trigger!" Twirl. Mwahaha. I will create the most glorious, needlessly destructive mess the world has ever seen.